When I failed my students

Xxx When I failed my students. 

Xxx My first assignment was as a teacher also called lecturer in an Intermediate College immediately after completing my M. Com.  In addition I was also a class teacher for the 12th class of commerce faculty. By all means it was a senior position allotted to a new recruit and therefore an object of envy too. It is another issue that I was only a temporary teacher about which I came to know a month latter.

I always wanted to be a teacher. I had a fanciful idea of this profession as a student who alternated as a tutor for making some extra pocket money. It gave me ample opportunity to revise the course material. It also gave me the feeling that I knew more than my pupils and they depended on me for their success. More importantly I thought I was making citizens of tomorrow. 

However this fantasy was shattered when I was to teach the senior classes of 11th and 12th grade who would be aspiring for graduating in commerce and then continuing their life in the vast world of business and commerce. It was no more a fantasy, it was now a responsibility. The would be chartered accountants and commercial professionals were looking at me as a friend, philosopher and guide. 

I should not fail them. I must answer each of their questions to their entire satisfaction or else they will loose faith in me. I did my home work before I faced them in the class. I re- read all what I had read some four years back. I consulted books other than those prescribed as text books by the school. 

I could say they had invested their faith in me and even the most inattentive of them took my class seriously. I was ready and preparing myself to give the best candidates to the world of commerce. 

And then after one month, one fine morning I came to know that my appointment was purely temporary and could be terminated at any time without notice. I asked the management what it meant and they said it was just normal and I need not worry. Some knowledgeable souls told me that some one connected will be appointed in my place after one year and I had no chance of getting confirmed. 

I was down but not done. Meantime, there came an offer from the leading industrial group through my alma-mater and after formal interview was offered a much lucrative job in their organization.  I submitted my resignation at the college which came as a surprise to the management and they did everything to keep me but I was firm. They had no choice but to relieve me. I won the battle with the unscrupulous management.

But I lost the war. I failed my students. I preferred a better paying job to the job my liking. I did not put enough fight to stay. My work and popularity with the students could have justified for the management to confirm my job after one year. Entire 12th class came to see me off at the railway station with garlands. Their gift of mother Saraswati's photo mounted on a glass frame still adores my Puja room.