BOOK LAUNCH AND BEYOND- HUMOR

BOOK LAUNCH AND BEYOND

1. INFORMATION

(Delhi, India 12 O’clock mid Night of the intervening dates of 24^th and 25^th September 2011)

“TRING” “TRING” “TRING “------- (who could be there at this unearthly mid- night hours?)

“Hello! Who is this?” (With slight irritation)

“Calling from Swedish Academy Sir. May I talk to Harry Lakra please?”(Some female voice with western accent)

“Yes Hari Lakhera speaking.”

“Sir, please talk to Mr. Chasterfield”

“OK”

“Mr. Hurry Liquor! Good Evening Sir. I am Chasterfield, the press secretary of the Nobel Committee attached to the Swedish Academy, Stockholm. Sir! I have been directed to inform you that you have been selected by the Committee for the Nobel Prize for literature year 2020. Sir, we are arranging to send to you the formal Letter of Invitation along with the air tickets with a request to accept the same and make yourself present on December 10, 2020 to receive the Prize from His Highness, the King of Sweden.”

“Thanks” (Sound of a click as the phone is put back to the cradle on the other side)

2. FORMAL INVITATION

(Next morning the INVITATION is delivered by a white man with military uniform at my door step)

The Nobel Committee of the Swedish Academy, Stockholm, entrusted with the responsibility of selecting the winning entry for Nobel Prize for Literature, Year 2020 is pleased to inform Mr. Hari Lakhera that the Prize goes to his outstanding contribution in the field of Literature. His path breaking novel “Mountain of Hills” has been adjudged the best entry for the year 2020. The Prize will be handed over by His Highness The King of Sweden on December 10, 2020 at 10 A. M. at the Convention Hall of the King’s Palace, Stockholm, Sweden.

Mr. Hari Lakhera is requested to accept the Invitation by returning a signed copy of this invite to the bearer with a signed copy of the great novel “Mountain of Hills”.

Mr. Hari Lakhera is also requested to present himself at the venue on the appointed day and time to receive the Prize. All arrangements for his travel and stay have been made. As a mark of respect for his outstanding contribution the Committee has also made arrangements for travel and stay for his family members and friends in Verdurez.

3. PRIZE HANDING OVER

(Convention Hall, King’s Palace, Stockholm, Sweden. Date December 10, 2020, 10 A. M. Seated on the Dias with The King of Sweden and few other dignitaries from the left, are myself dressed in latest cut black suit with white shirt and blue printed neck-tie, Ishita, Founder of world famous Verdurez, a social net working site for Seniors, Robina, ( Ischia’s friend philosopher and guide and vise-versa) Seated on the front rows in the Hall from the left are TVK. VAS, KGRD, ARV Shushi, Girija, Syamala, Sarinda, Mohite, Artikey, Hemchandra Babu, Ramani,Shenoy, Tadala Murthy, Vaidyanathan, Prem and many others all dressed up in latest Tahaliani Creations.)

(There is a sharp click on the sound system and a hefty Female Figure named Isabel takes to the podium)

Ms. Isabel: “Your Highness, The King of Sweden, honorable members of the Nobel Committee and other dignitaries present from all over the world! May I request Mr.Fullbright, a distinguished member of the Nobel Committee and a renowned litterateur in his own right to say a few words about the prize winning entry? Over to you Sir!

Mr. Fullbright: “Your Highness and Ladies and Gentlemen present in this august house! Mr. Hairylacquer ! I have been a member of the Nobel Committee for Literature for over 40 years now and never in my long career have I seen such overwhelming support for this year’s winning entry. Of the 377 proposals received by the committee, all the 18 members unanimously selected this entry. “Mountain of Hills” happens to be the sole published novel by Mr. Hairylacquer whose love for writing spans over 67 years. He had started writing from the age of three and the favorite writing board for him was the walls of his parent’s living room. At that time it was not possible to infer what the toddler in Mr. Hairylacquer wanted to say as most of the writings were in symbols. Coming events cast their shadows before! This passion for writing was further sharpened in his growing years. Rejections never deterred him. In spite of the fact that Magazines and Journals continued rejecting his manuscripts but possibly for this very reason his love for literature was fortified. As providence would have it, he had a chance encounter with Ms. Shila, literary agent and rest as they say is history. “Mountain of Hills” is the story of a genuine writer who did not budge a bit and finally proved the naysayers wrong. One copy each of the Novel, facilitated by the Nobel Committee, is already on your seats. I will not take any more time and now request His Highness The King Of Sweden to hand over the Prize and the Citation to Mr. Hairylacquer”

(His Highness, The King of Sweden hands over the Prize and the Citation to me. The King utters a few words of appreciation in Spanish to which I reply by saying ‘gratuitous’ the only Spanish word I know. Mr. Chesterfield requests me to say a few words in acceptance who takes to the podium like fish to water)

4. ACCEPTANCE SOPEECH

“Your Highness, Honorable members of the Nobel Committee, distinguished guests and dear Verdurians! First of all I thank God Almighty for everything. I also thank my parents who allowed me to disfigure the living room walls and encouraged me at every step.

I also thank my wife, who is sitting back on the benches avoiding the limelight, probably drenched in tears. She has been my best and the worst critic in whatever I did. She did everything possible to kill the writing bug inside me which spread its wings after retirement in 1963 but all the same kept the regular supply of coffee/tea to my writing table during those long nights.

“I thank the individuals and organizations who sent their nomination proposals to the Academy and the members of the Nobel Committee for finalizing the Prize in my favor.

I very sincerely thank Ishita, Founder of Verdurez, and a social net working sight for Indians and NRIs above 55 years of age. But for this site I would never have tasted the flavor of getting published. The site offers the opportunity to get published automatically without cuts. There is no return or rejection slips as long as the entries adhere to rules. It provides a ready audience of over 5000 members worldwide. Post retirement blues can be hard and tormenting if one does not have some hobby like reading, writing or gardening etc. Thankfully I love to read and write. Scribbling another piece for Verdurez is not time pass but a creative satisfaction. For this reason I call this site ‘WRITERS’ PAARDISE” My special thanks to all Verdurians, at times called Verdoos for their encouraging and critical comments.

A few words about the making of “mountain of Hills”. After retirement reading and writing keeps me busy. My tiny study table at one point of time got filled with ‘returned with thanks’ manuscripts. First my wife made small manageable pile for the Raddiwala (Scrap dealer) but upon seeing my face started piling them in heaps which looked like small hills. With time these heaps started touching the room ceiling looking like mountain. Since there was nothing else to do with this waste paper I thought of arranging them in small, big and bigger heaps which from a distance looked like a hillock. That is how it was called ‘Mountain of Hills” of rejected stories.

Last but not the least I would fail in my duty if I do not thank Ms. Shila, my literary agent. She helped me in interweaving these stories in such a way that it came out as one big story called novel. Adventurous as she always has been, she found the publisher, and got the copyrights in place and now here I am.

ThankQ.” There is huge applause.

5. POST AWARD SCENERIO

TV channels are running clips of the award ceremony. My wife has been interviewed by all the channels. TV Vans have surrounded our housing complex. Some enthusiastic and investigative reporters have covered my teachers, school mates and friends. All of them are claiming how closely they know me and how sure they were of my making it to the top one day. My telephone lines are jammed. My cell phone is constantly ringing.

I hear that my name has been approved for the Jnanpith Award. There are rumors that I may be honored with ‘Padma Bhusan’ on 26^th Jannuary 2021. Delhi Government has already announced a cash prize of five lakhs Rupees. Other States are falling over each other to own me because during my working life I have been a resident in almost all States in India, though for a very short duration at times. Corporates have approached Ms. Shila with fat proposals in return of my endorsing their products. Insurance Companies want to offer life time full medical coverage in return for a few lines and poses for them. Till yesterday I was no body. Strange that we need foreign recognition, to be spotted in our own country!

Oh my God. Success could be so frightening!

BOOK LAUNCH - HUMOR

Hi Friends! The following has appeared in the Book Review Section of “Writers’ Paradise’:

“The Novel ‘Mountain of Hills’ by Hari Lakhera is a true depiction of a struggling writer with a sensitive soul. His passion for writing has made him an outsider in his home. He has only been successful in accumulating hills of ‘Returned with thanks’ manuscripts in the name of creative writing. His desperation drives him to extreme boundaries of hope and frustration. But that was before he met Shila, the literary agent…………………………….The book launch is scheduled for Sunday the 25^th September 2011.”

NOBEL PRIZE FOR LITERATURE

TRING TRING

INVITATION

ON THE DIAS WITH ISHITA

ALL VS IN THE AUDIENCE

LONG QUE FOR AUTOGRAPHS

WIFE BEING INTERVIEWED BY CHANNELS AND SHE EXPLAINING HER ROLE AND SACRIFICES

TEACHER SAW THE SPARKS IN MY EARLY DAYS IN SCHOOL

FRIENDS CLAIMING CLOSENESS

EX GIRL FRIENDS SQEEKING

HARI UWACH: -HUMOR

HARI UWACH

Na jaayate mriyate vaa kadaachin

Na bhrastacharam bhootwaa bhavitaa vaa na bhooyah;

Ajo nityah shaashwatob ayam puraano

Na hanyate hanyamaane shareere.Oh Anna.

1. Bhrastachar is not born nor does it ever die; after having been, it again ceases not to be.

Unborn, eternal, changeless and ancient, it is not killed when the body is killed,

COMMENTARY: Hari said, Oh Anna ! Corruption (Bhrastachar) is very old phenomena. The person that indulges in it dies but it itself never dies. Therefore make no efforts try to fight it.

Hazare!Vaasaamsi jeernaani yathaa vihaaya

Navaani grihnaati naro’paraani;

Tathaa shareeraani vihaaya jeernaa

Nyanyaani samyaati navaani dehee.

2. Hazare !Just as man casts off worn-out clothes and puts on new ones, so also the embodied Self casts off worn-out bodies and enters others that are new.

COMMENTARY: Hazare !Just a we reject the old worn out clothes and wear new ones, similarly Corruption also abandons the dead bodies and enters in new bodies, preferably in the body of one of the family member. These new bodies instantly start Corruption.

Nainam cchindanti shastraani nainam dahati paavakah;

Na chainam kledayantyaapo na shoshayati maarutah.O Detached.

3. Weapons cut it not, fire burns it not, water wets it not, and wind dries it not.

COMMENTARY: O Detached! The Corruption is part less. It is infinite and extremely subtle. So the sword cannot cut it, fire cannot burn it, wind cannot dry it. Your efforts will not yield any result. Before you also efforts have been made but humans have not understood the true power of Corruption.

Sukhaduhkhe same kritwaa laabhaalaabhau jayaajayau;

Tato yuddhaaya parihare naivam paapamavaapsyasi.OConqueror of hunger!

4. O Conqueror of Hunger!! Having made pleasure and pain, gain and loss, victory and defeat the same, drop this thought of battle against Corruption; thus thou shalt not incur sin.

COMMENTARY: This is the Yoga of equanimity or the doctrine of poise in action. Do not be happy or unhappy. Do not bother about victory or defeat. Forget about Corruption and start a new life. This way you will not be accused of disrupting the equilibrium.

Bhau! Sarvasadyasaan parityajya maamekam sharanam vraja;

Aham twaa sarvapaapebhyo mokshayishyaami maa shuchah.

5.Bhau! Abandoning all members, take refuge in me alone; I will liberate thee from all sins; grieve

not.

COMMENTARY: Bhau ! Abandoning all members of the team, who are conspiring by throwing Rays(Kiran) on the Lotus (Arvind) but intending to burn you in Fire (Agni) and scatter your ashes in the troubled waters of the Pacific (Prashant) and deny you eternal Peace (Shanti), come under my protection and I guarantee you salvation (Moksha).

GET LOST - STORY

GET LOST I loved my younger brother so much. Even his disturbing antics, me while I was reading or listening to music, amused me. I did get mad at him once in a while but we made up soon enough. Did I forget to tell you that we were born on the same day i.e. on 10th of October with 5 years gap It was my 8th and his 3rd Birth day. Our parents were too good or should I say are too good? Never mind. Both of our parents are working and therefore whenever we think of holidays or any such thing which means going out of town for a few days, there is always the clashing of dates. It is mostly Dad, who had to opt out due to some pressing situation in his business. Our parent had decided to take us to a beautiful beach for weekend excursion as a birthday gift and as usually happens, Dad had to excuse himself. Mom anyway, decided to go as planned. So, on a happy afternoon, we left for the beach, some 250 miles from our town and reached there in the evening having lot of fun on the way, which I will pass here. We had some baggage and the Hotel lobby was crowded. Mom had to check in and asked me take care of the baggage and more importantly of the naughty kid, I mean my younger brother. Within these few minutes, he made my life difficult. He was too excited to visit the beach as it was his first time. I tried to keep him close to me but every time he would run out on the driveway. I got mad and told him to ‘get lost’. Meantime, a big group of kids came in the lobby and I lost sight of my kid brother. I yelled in no particular direction asking him to come back. Mom was by my side by now. I told her what happened. She ran out to find him but he was nowhere to be seen. She asked everyone, if they had seen a small kid of three years, but nobody was of any help. Whole night and next day, Mom tried to find him with the help of local police but all in vain. Dad had also joined. We were all dejected. Mom was crying all the time and so was I. He could not be traced. My parents did not lose hope. The Police was trying hard. The was no limit to our happiness , when after exactly 39 days, the Police called my parents to come to the police station and identify the kid whom they had recovered from a gang of child lifter . It sure was my kid brother , who was handed over to us after some formalities It was the happiest day of my life. I had been cursing myself all these days for having told my brother those dreadful words "GET LOST". I could never have forgiven myself for my life, if God was not kind to send my kid brother back home.