The Horse and The Syag Story

Dear friends,
Namaskaram.
The Horse and the Stag Story.
I have just returned from four months of stay in India. Partly for reason of busy travel schedule and partly for laziness could not log in for long into SSS mails. I am sure I have a lot to catch up.

Meantime, though I have had the opportunity of closely watching the elections in the country for a good number of years in the past the recently concluded election was different in many ways. I can say that it was the most fiercely fought election with no hold bars. It was also the most brazenly personal.
I am reminded of a fable which goes as under:

"A quarrel had arisen between the Horse and the Stag, so the Horse came to a Hunter to ask his help to take revenge on the stag. The hunter agreed but said "If you desire to conquer the stag, you must permit me to place this piece of iron between your jaws, so that I may guide you with these reins, and allow this saddle to be placed upon your back so that I may keep steady upon you as we follow the enemy". The horse agreed to the conditions, and the hunter soon saddled and bridled him. Then, with the aid of the hunter, the horse soon overcame the stag and said to the hunter: "Now get off, and remove those things from my mouth and back." "Not so fast, friend, " said the hunter. "I have now got you under bit and spur and prefer to keep you as you are as present". "

I guess the Electorate is the Horse, the maligned Opponent, which they do not want to come in power, is the Stag and the one promising the utopia is the Hunter. The Electorate, the Horse, tired of the tested Opponent, the Stag, wants to get rid of it and seeks help from the Hunter who uses the utopian promises to saddle and bridle the Horse. The Horse agrees but remains saddled and bridled even after the Hunter helps him overcome the Stag for years to come but those promises are never fulfilled. This keeps on happening every five or ten years. The Stag and the Hunter keep on replacing each other like in a game of musical chairs. The Horse remains saddled and bridled and finally gets used to it for life.

First it was 'Gareebi Hatao' (Eradicate poverty) but the poor became poorer. Then came 'Shining India' but the shine was seen on the rich only. Then came 'Achche Din' (Better days) but no sign of that too. Now it is 'Sabka Viswas' (Trust of all) but it too seems to be starting with renaming Khan Market in Delhi, Ahmedabad in Gujarat and Taj Mahal in Agra and many more. How erasing history will bring in the trust of all is any body's guess.

I am hopeful and positive because people, in general, are Democrats and do all to preserve it and thus the country.

Wounded Civilisations

Wounded Civilizations

I live now in the United States for the last two years. Prior to that, I used to visit and return. The question has always haunted me: Why Indians are still in awe of the white race? Is it because we still have the wounds of the ‘wounded civilization’? 

'Wounded Civilizations’ as a term was used by VS Naipaul in his book India: Wounded Civilization.

When the British came to India, Imperial Modernity, a product of Western military power enabled by economic growth and technological progress created a deep sense of emotional insignificance and backwardness of the 19th century in India and China. While China has largely overcome it, it is still alive in India with hurt feelings in spite of recent economic growth.

While we should have been proud of our traditions and culture, we could not stand the constant onslaught by the westerners. They made us feel stupid, made fun of our traditions and looked down upon us as primitive. If that was not enough, they became our rulers. They had weapons power and material success in their favor.

Our caste system divided us. Our then rulers, mostly dynastic, Hindus or Muslims, divided on the basis of religion or cast gave the fodder. Indians were not materialistic as a way of life.

But that is past, 70 years behind us but the master-servant relationship is yet to break. The moment we meet a white guy we squeeze in our seats. While the change is visible in the workplace particularly after the grand stride Indians have taken in the IT field, the fact remains that we are yet to assert our equality if not superiority in many fields. Indians are here because they earn more than what they could in their country but the fact remains that they are also here because they are prepared to work at lesser remuneration as compared to the locals, particularly whites. But that is beside the point.

The main point is that we have not been in a position to reconcile to the truth that whites are no more our rulers. We are still in awe, an unpleasant gift of the wounded civilization. 

जन राखल तन्नी ठीक

जन राखल तन्नी ठीक

गंगा बौ,  नै नवेली दुल्हन जब गांव मा ऐ त सबून ब्वाल, परी च परी। बरात देर रात मा लौटि छे, जनानूक अलावा कैतै भितर नि आणि दे। वन त बराती हम बि छे पर वेदी मा बौ क एक हाथ लंबू घूंघट खैन्च्यू रै। पीतांबर भैजीन बि अन्दाज़ लगैक माँग भर।

अगली दिन बि गांव क पाणीम जब बौडि और जिठाण क दगड़ गे त घूंघट जरा कम करण पड़ पर मुखडा साफ साफ नी दिखे।

द्वी दिन बाद पीतांबर भैजि न बतै कि भौत बिगरेलि च। स्वभाव बि मिठ्ठू। पीतांबर भैजीन त बोलणु ही छे ।

फिर द्वार बाट ह्वे कन आई। बस गंगा बौ गांव की ह्वे गे। सचमुच बहुत खबसूरत और मयालि। क्वी नि बोलि सकुद छे कि दुसर गांव बिटीक आईं च।

पीतांबर भैजि गांव क प्राइमरी स्कूल पास छे । चान्द त कोशिश करिक दिल्ली देहरादून चपरासी वपरासी लग सकद छे पर बाप दादा की जैजाद नी छोड़ि सक। मेहनत और लगन से खेती कर, बाखर ढेबर पालिन और खूब कमै कर।

द्वी बेटा एक बेटी । बेटी न गांव क स्कूल से 8 पास कर । अब तक गांव मा मिडिल खुल गे छे। व्याह ह्वे गे। ज्यादा पढैक क्या कन। बेटौन बि 8 पास कर और गांव क काका की निगरानी मा दिल्ली बिटीक ग्रेजुएट ह्वे गीन । बड़ सरकारी नौकरी मा लगि गे । छोटुभाई एक प्राइवेट कंपनी मा। बड़ु दिल्ली, छोटुभाई गाजियाबाद । अपर अपर हिसाब से द्वी खुश।

समय आण पण द्वी बिवाये गीन । ब्याह मा मी बि सहित परिवार शामिल छे । बड़ैकि घरवाली भी सरकारी नौकरी मा। और क्या चायेणै छे । छोटुभाई की घरवाली बस घरवाली । पीतांबर भैजि और गंगा बौ खुस। दिल्ली आणै जाणै रैन। मुलाकात हूणै रै।

समय की रफ्तार निराली । पीतांबर भैजि साठ साल बि नि टप। गंगा बौ एकदम टुटि गे। पांच सालम हि बुढ़े गे। छे साठैकि, लगदि अस्सी की। बेटा दिल्ली लि ऐन। आपस मा तय कर-छै मैना बड़क दगड़, छै मैना छोटक दगड़। बौ तै कैन नी पूछ कि ऊ क्या चान्द । कमी कखि बि ना। यी उमर मा जरूरत वनि बि क्या हूँदन। बस द्वी टैम कि रोटि ।

हर छै मैनाम घर बदलि। चल दिल्ली जाणक टैम ह्वे ग्ये, अब चल गाजियाबाद ।

एक शादी मा मुलाकात ह्वे । कुछ कमजोर सी।

-बौ खूब छे? मीन पूछ।

-हाँ सब ठीक।

फिर यना वना की बात। गाँव की पुराण कहानी क़िस्सा। 

-क्या बात च लड़का ब्वारी नी छन दिखेणै? मीन पूछ।

-ह्वाल यखि कखि। 

-खाणैकि लैन लगीं च। तुम कुण लैओं प्लेट माँ?

-जौन लाण छे उ त दोस्तों मा रमी ह्वाल।

-क्वी बात नी मी लै औलु।

-ना, भूख नी च। तु ख़ैलि। 

-ठीक च। मी देखदु छौं ऊं तै।

-तु चिंता न कर, ऐ जाल। खाणै पीणै ह्वाल। म्यार क्या, जन राखल तन्नी ठीक।

क्या बोनु छे? बड़ी मुश्किल से बड़ बेटा दिखे। टैंट क पैथर दोस्तुक दगड रम्यूं छे।

-बेटा तेरि माँ भुखि बैठीं च। जरा देखि ले। लाइन मा लगीक खाणुक खैकन घर ऐ ग्यूं।

Kindness in Divisive Times

Kindness in Divisive Times

Samuel Johnson said - 

"Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not" 

We are living in divisive times. Polarization is taking place in the name of all things. More and more issues are adding to the already complex issues of cast, creed and color. This is the testing time for humans.

Kindness is natural. Feeling compassionate about others should come naturally to us and need not be reminded about its importance but it does not. Why? 

Because we see many examples of politicians tearing down one other, students bullying and being mean, rapes, murders and what not. 

Pointing faults of others make us superior. 

We know people are not nice and maybe they have their own reasons. We cannot know that and cannot change that. We should be nice to others because we are nice.

We need not be doing yoga or meditation or any such thing to be nice. No special diet or exercise is required not to criticize others. 

We need not be judging others. Respect other opinions as you are not always right.

Like us people have problems. We don't know what other persons are going through. 

There is always a choice. If you cannot say nice things, say nothing. 

Marital Bliss

Marital Bliss. 

First God created man and then rested for a week. Then He created a woman and did not r..t since then. All wrong! Charles Darwin has proved it and I do not have to invent the wheel again. Humans have evolved from some living creatures those existed before them. So is the theory of Adam, Eve and Apple. All wrong. Some scientists at Indian National Congress have claimed that both Newton and Einstein were wrong. There are sound waves here and there to prove Charles Darwin also wrong. I am however convinced that I am the biological reaction of my parents’ actions.   

At the beginning of the Kalpa, (Gita - Chapter 3, Verse 9 and 10) Lord Brahma through Yagna (Karma) created the mankind and asked them to multiply and flourish through Karma. Mankind comprised of both men and women. I have no clue why there is no womankind. Before that men and women are known as Gods and Apsaras lived in heaven and they were not allowed to cohabit and multiply without marrying. We find that Gods, Indra, Sun, and others had at least one wife and many children. The institution of marriage was established in heaven. This is the reason for the saying that marriages are made in heaven. We should follow our Gods in heaven and marry and stay married. 

Another reason why one should marry for life is to live with someone even if you do not like him or her. Living alone can be scary and suicidal. That is why those seven rounds and vows are forced upon at the time of marriage. Not only that you prayed for taking rebirth for seven lives with the same spouse. I am not yet convinced that who guarantees that a man will be born as a man and a woman as a woman consecutively for seven lives.  This facility is not available in live-in relationships. Of course, these days divorces are granted by courts but the process is long, costly and uncertain, particularly in India. Many divorced couples reunited again when they realized that the other side was not as green as it appeared. This is the reason millions of couples stay put as married. If you don't trust me, have a look at the various applications forms etc asking for your marital status.

Domestic help is getting worse day by day. Not only you have to pay through your nose, but the noose is also so tight that you may get suffocated if the domestic help does not arrive on time. People in the west learned it after running slave trade for centuries. There is something called freedom and slaves or domestic helps deserve that. It is all the more important these days of risk involved in hiring help as there have been cases of not only cheating and theft but murders also by such helps. A wife or a husband is readily available and since mutual interest is involved, they work in the perfect union for cooking, washing, laundry, cleaning, child care and all that is needed to keep the house look like a home. It pays to stay married. The good news is that so many dotcoms have sprung to help us.  

It is also important that your material wealth is taken care of when one of you suddenly leaves. In marriage, in all probability, each one of the spouses who is having how much and who is hiding where should not be a secret. This makes it easy for the surviving spouse to handle it properly. Now you know why there is a provision of 'either or survivor' in bank accounts opened jointly. Now you know why the first right of property goes to the surviving spouse as per law. It pays to stay married. 

Last but not the least; you need some sound around you. TV shows are monotonous and repetitive and predictable which are quite the opposites of sound bites between spouses. Both are unpredictable, freshly minted and hence lively and interesting. Marriages are guaranteed to last for life just like your washing machine if maintained properly.  Stay married.

DISCLAIMER: The writer does not guarantee any compensation for the above suggestions not fructifying into reality. Readers or read to be are advised to stay married at their own risk.  

Aging, like, conjunctivitis, is contagious. But......

Aging, like conjunctivitis, is contagious, But ..

Now that 2018 is out and 2019 is in, we can safely assume that we have aged by one more year. We can either rejoice for happily living one more year or grumble for having lost one year of our life on this planet, choice is ours.

Try as we may, we are going to age. It is catching like conjunctivitis, because we are in contact with people who are aging from the day we are born.

Can segregation help? May be. But it has not been tried as yet and no research data is available to support this remedy. Prince Siddharth made an effort when he saw aged and sick people for the first time. From the day of his birth, he was not taken out of the palace and later not allowed to step out from his bed room, perhaps. . Probably the King wanted him to be safe and secure. But he forgot that those in charge of the care of the prince were old and aging, including the King and the Queen themselves. Siddharth left the palace and deserted his wife and son in search of a solution to this problem. He did find other things like how to prepare for the next life but could find no solution to the problem of aging itself. He also aged and died. Children who left their aging parents behind and went away in search of better life, never to return, also age. They found that the places they migrated to also have the same problem though not as acute because of better living conditions. It however hardly matters if one is called old at 58 or 68.

Can precaution help? Maybe. Again no such study exists. There have been suggestions - organic food, regular exercise, and regular medical check –ups and even Botox injections and plastic surgery ( Ask Nita Ambani or Shah Rukh Khan). This might have given some psychological feeling of wellness but each birthday reconfirmed the fact that aging is contagious.

So what is the solution? I have a suggestion. We should never grow. I mean we should never grow in our thinking. We should always stay with the child within. The aged are compared with children for a reason. Just observe a child keenly. He or she is fully contended- unmindful of what he is wearing, unmindful of how many times he has fallen while learning to walk. Give him a toy and he starts kissing and loving it or even dismantling it to find out what lies inside, always inquisitive. He learns and unlearns very fast. He is always assured of himself. The only time he cries is when he is hungry. He also cries when he is sleepy, not because he wants to sleep but because he does not want to. Above all there is so much to see and learn with open eyes. He is very selfish and manipulative also. He hesitates to be friendly with strangers but once in his lap and assured of the stranger’s intentions of love and caring, he will jump with joy the moment he sees him next time. He can manipulate his way as he wishes. He likes to play with other children. He does not remember his past. He will fight one moment and become friendly next moment. He does not know how to cheat, steal or speak a lie.

So, dear SILVERS! Stay child, stay blessed. Remain contended under all circumstances, do not grumble. The body will turn weak and this or that pain will hurt but get up and smile. For a change, take out the old photo albums and live life again. Listen to music which is as young as you are. Eat well and on time. Cry if feel so. Pamper yourself once in a while with food or drink of your choice. Eat what you like after 70, they say. Don’t count hours you slept, count hours you stayed awake. Don’t expect children to guess what you want or don’t want. Speak it out in a very diplomatic and tactful way. Use the childhood tricks of manipulations. As far as possible, avoid company of people older than you unless they are childish as you are. They are contagious. You will catch their symptoms-grumbling, complaining, glorifying olden days, carrying old baggage, finding faults with modern generation….endless. Stay with younger lot, preferably children. Do not carry any baggage of the past. Do not cheat, steal or speak a lie. Enough has already happened.

I can assure you, death will come but the reason will not be age.

Here is a cartoon from the treasure of Henry King (Hank) Ketchum to cheer you up.

  


Hari Lakhera

Sunday, 23 December 2018