IS LIFE JUST TICKING AWAY?

IS LIFE JUST TICKING AWAY? I am approaching my 72nd year on this planet earth and I am wondering IS LIFE JUST TICKING AWAY OR HAVE I BEEN IN A POSITION TO ASSIGN SOME MEANING TO IT? AM I SILENTLY WAITING TO FADE AWAY? It is said that a lion after covering some distance looks back, pauses and walks on majestically. On the other hand other animals just keep walking or running, pausing and looking back only when there is no perceived threat. As a human I too had my fair share of love, anger and worries. Did I have time and inclination to look back, review and proceed or did I simply kept walking and running away from threats and pitfalls? There were moments of love and when the whole creation seemed to be in love. Even the birds, trees, rivers and stars were singing love songs. When one is love, an unexplainable feeling, he /she experiences a different kind of bliss. The whole universe seems to be collaborating with and sharing in that bliss. Love has many manifestations. Sometimes passion, infatuation or even natural affection is confused as love and I had all of them. I had also the moments of being in love with myself. I had no conflict with what I am, who I am and how I am. There were moments of desperation too but they were external circumstances. I crossed the situation by simply convincing myself that these circumstances were of my own making and I have to share the burden too. I continuously reviewed my equation with others and tried to balance it with best of my capabilities. Many a times I failed. Many a times I lost the love of someone whom I had taken for granted. Many a times I was loved by strangers too. Despite all misunderstandings and misgivings, love won. Without love, I would not be a human. I got angry with or without reasons. I tried my best to be calm and composed in all circumstances but failed. There was something inside which did not agree with my efforts and I fell prey to temptations and luxuries of being angry. At times I was angry on myself for my weaknesses. I was angry with myself for my strengths too. I despised myself for being too principled and theoretical in a practical world. I was angry on others for their indifference towards me, for their too much of reliance on me or for using me. I was aware that anger is corroding me but I somehow could not resist. On hind side I feel anger is necessary as it helps you to vent your true feelings. It helps removing the false curtains of civility and mannerism you have hanged around you. It was also just human to be angry. The worrying part is the most difficult part. It was easy to love and ask to be loved. It was easy to be angry and ask for forgiveness. But it was not easy not to worry. There were worries of all shades. Worries borne out of sickness of self or someone in the family, worries relating to job or finances and worries about children and their future. There were worries of the past affecting the present. There were worries of future making the present irrelevant. Worries of all sorts followed as a shadow of my own. There were worries of the past on which there was no control then and no control now but they still followed. I tried to get rid of them, at times taking unpredicted turns to dodge but they were too powerful. Worries of future thankfully did not come true but worries of the past were real. One could make plans for future worries but what about worries of the past particularly when your own people keep on reminding you of your follies and the resultant misfortunes of the present. You are not allowed to forget of the mistakes of your past, never. Worries of the present are as important but can be tackled with experience from the past. You do not have to commit blunders every now and then on the same issue! I think the worries were just a prelude to proactive actions to be taken to ward off against real or perceived uncertainties. It helped as is evident from the carefree life I am leading today. In this context all those worries were worth the trouble. Looking back I can say with utmost certainty that I was just a human. The life would have been meaningless without love, anger and worries. Life would have been monotonous without the thrills of unpredictables. Love, anger and worries add spice to life. Without love, anger and worries life would be just ticking away. Life is not ticking away because of the number of years lived and to be lived but because of the years lived without love, anger and worries. Life is mix of so many emotions, wonderful !