CITY OF BELIEVERS WITH A DIFFERENCE

CITY OF BELIEVERS WITH A DIFFERENCE

Some of us Delhites are believers with a difference.

1. We believe in the maxims that if you have it, flaunt it. We live in the Political Capital of the country and everybody is somebody here and you are not somebody you do not belong to this city of ‘carpet beggars’. We drop names at the drop of anybody’s hat. ‘Don’t you know me?’, ‘Don’t you know who my father is?’, ‘Phone lagaoon kya? (Shall I call my contact)?’ We use all such phrases whenever caught up in any wrong doing. We are power brokers and can fix anything.

2. We believe in settling our scores by equal opposite reaction starting with fist fights to pulling out the gun. We have proved to the whole country in particular and the world at large that we do not keep issues pending. We believe in instant justice, justice to ourselves. We do not hesitate to pull the gun and kill the toll booth attendant because he asked for Rs 27/- as toll tax. You would like to call it ‘road rage’ but we call it ‘right of way’.

3. We believe in show off. Our penchant for show off is reflected in our huge wedding pandals, big cars and farm houses. Above all what use having money if it cannot serve you? We do not mind firing guns when we get high and care a hoot as to who is injured or killed.

4. We believe that women are an object of pleasure. If we like someone we want to have her and that is all. Our youths have exhibited it many ways: teasing, kidnapping, raping in movies cars and even killing. We have made some 100 localities in Delhi not safe for women as also confirmed by the Police.

5. We believe that we belong to Delhi but Delhi does not belong to us .Like many other Delhites , we came here from other places. Those of us, who came from the other side of the western border after partition in 1947, have seen bad days and today through our hard work we have achieved tremendous success in trade and business. We have every right to party hard too. However we make sure that we are seen with right people in a party. To quote Suhel Seth:

“ In Mumbai, the people you invite are normally the people you care about, and then you keep inviting them for the rest of their (and hopefully your) life. Whereas in Delhi, they follow the Telephone Directory syndrome; keep changing the list based on who is becoming more important. The worst sufferers are retired bureaucrats: one day they are Lords, and immediately on retirement, they are treated (and told) as paupers

In Mumbai, people talk to you at parties. In Delhi, they look but rarely talk –they look over your shoulder to see who’s coming and how relevant that person is. In Mumbai they look you up and down, in Delhi they keep looking up because they know the tragedies that abound beneath. So the next time you feel you are being used as a crutch, knock your head and you will realise you are in some Delhi party.”

6. We- rich, neo-rich and not so rich, believe that though we are in minority as against the vast majority of poor Delhites. We believe that this majority should elect some of us as their representatives to think about their good if we feel necessary. Charity begins at home and once elected it is but natural that we recover our expenses and make our future secure.

7. We believe that no sacrifice is big enough when it comes to getting our work done. It includes buttering, sycophancy, opportunism, bribes, back biting, kidnapping, killing and what have you. The important thing is the bottom line- the end and not the means.

8. We believe that we have the best physical features. Above we are the descendants of the Aryans. We are fair in color, tall and handsome. We are the original metrosexuals. Our women are hot and sexy but that does not give the upper hand. We oblige them by marrying provided their parents can afford our dowry demands. Here we do not believe in partiality even if the girl belongs to our own people. If we are blamed for dowry related killings, it is only because people do not understand the business of marriage.

9. We believe that Delhi is India and India is Delhi. Everybody south of Vindhyachal is Madrasi. Mangolian faced eople from some North Eastern States have strange social norms. Their women are of lose morals and therefore can be teased or bashed.

10. We also believe in ‘Shakti’ the Goddess of power, namely Vaishno Devi. Every year we visit the Shrine and pray to the Deity to grant us Dharma(Righteousness) Arth (Material), Kama (Contentment) and Moksha (Enlightenment). We do Jagaran (Nightlong worship of Shakti) with great pomp and show. We employ professional Bhajan singers and keep the loudspeakers at full volume for the whole night. Nobody dares to complain because they know we are engaged in Dharmik (religious) activities.

We believe in so many other things but that is for some other time. Fortunately majority of Delhiets do not believe in all the above. I am one of them. This is called ‘apane muh miya mithu’ (patting your own back) but then modesty is not the virtue of the majority. By Mata’s grace I have a little bit of Dharma, Artha and Kama. It is said that paying a visit to religious shrines and taking a dip in the Holy river cleans you of all the sins you might have knowingly or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly committed thus far in your life. I do not know if Moksha is possible in this life. Off I go to Vaishnao Devi. May be, just maybe, my prayer might be heard.

See you friends on 23^rd. Bye for now.