Tuesday, May 10, 2011

TRUST DEFICIT

TRUST DEFICIT
In my last RRR, ‘Noorjahan’ and his beating at the hands of our English Teacher resulting into his dropping from the school was rumbled.
Now it is my turn. Dropping all pretentions of modesty, I may say that I was a bright student and therefore a favorite of most of the teachers. Shatriji, as our Hindi Teacher was fondly called had special liking for me. He liked my hand writing, my way of expression and most importantly my being an obedient pupil. In his opinion I could do no wrongs. I did my home work without fail, read in advance the chapter coming for next tutorial in the class and my books were properly kept in neat and clean condition. In fact in his eyes I was the ideal student. He would give my example in every other class. He knew my father and would always praise me.
Every day before the Hindi class, it was my duty to collect Home work note books from each student and place them on the table before Shatriji came .On that fateful day, I had somehow missed to do my home work and as such did not bring the note book. All the note books except mine were on the table before Shastriji came. As a routine he called that all student who have not brought their home work to stand up. As a punishment all such students stood on the bench throughout the period. Surprisingly I was the lone student on that day who had not done his home work and stood up. Shashtriji was aghast when he saw me standing.
There was something in his eyes, perhaps tears, and he asked me the reason. I got scared and lied by saying that I had done my home work but forgot to bring the book. There was little sign of hope on his face. He knew my house was not far off and asked me to go and get it as fast as I could. I just stood there stone faced. I fell short of speaking another lie that there was no body at home for the day but could not gather the courage to do so.
“So you lied to me?” were his words before his long handed broad palm slap landed on my face. There was another and another and another till my face became chilly read, tears flowing down and head hung in humiliation. He commenced explaining the chapter scheduled for the day. He would read a few lines, explain, look at me and come rushing and slap me again and again. That 40 minutes period seemed eternity. I could not even hear the bell indicating the end of the period and thus ending my ordeal. Shastriji taught us till class eight but I had lost his trust. In fact I had humiliated him.
I could not fully grasp the implication of my doings but looking back I feel I failed not because I did not do the home work but because I was not worthy of his trust, or at least that is how he must have taken it. I had lied. I could have told him the truth that I did not do the home work rather than lying that I had forgotten the book at home. He would have understood and forgiven me with small punishment of standing on the bench like others.
It takes ages to gain trust but seconds to lose it.

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